How to Become a Best Selling Author in 4 Easy Steps!!

Posted on Posted in How to Be Cooler Than Your Friends, Season 2

Time: 3hrs

Cost: Your Pride

Difficulty: Easier than making a Cake!! (what?)

Douchey Bragging Rights: Greatly increased



Step 1: Write a Book

As bothersome as it is, the first step to becoming a best selling author is: to actually be an author. The great news for all you busy bodies out there, is that you can totally not even write a book, and it’ll still work! For this challenege, my “book” was an essay I wrote on “The 2007 Vinyl Revival” for my music 203 class this semester. I’m actually quite proud of it…. has nothing to do with becoming a best seller, but I guess Amazon doesn’t worry too much about that kind of thing.

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The soon to be #1 best seller of Humorous Essay’s Free section in!

Step 2: Pick a totally obscure category, and upload your book to it. 

In order to become a “Best Seller”, your book must come within the top 100 books in the category it’s posted in. This means that the more obscure the category you post in, the better. You will have a much higher chance to beat out the 150 books in sports health and safety than the 28,859 in diet and weight loss. “But my book has nothing to do with the category it’s posted in!?” WHO CARES? Not this guy!


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Step 3: Ask 10 friends to buy your book

Thankfully, for all of you thrifty accomplishment addicts out there, Amazon’s best seller status is measured with how many books are sold within a certain amount of time, not how many books are sold overall. This means, that if you’re able to convince 10 of your friends to download your book in a 1-2 hour span, you are likely to beat out other books that didn’t have nearly as much luck in that hour.

Once you’ve got 10 or so purchases wait a few hours, and you and your brand new “book” should be on the best seller list!

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Step 4: Become a best seller and TELL EVERYONE

Now that you’re a best seller, you want to move on to the last and most important step of the process; making sure that everyone knows you’re a best seller. I would suggest aggressively posting photos of yourself with quotes from your book with the title “Best Selling Author” underneath it, and on all of your social media platforms multiple times a day for a few weeks.


Thanks for reading, and happy selling!

This week’s video was inspired by this man’s post.

As well, here is a link to the book if you would like a copy for free!



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