Time: 2-10 hours
Difficulty: Difficult for this guy, easy for others
Increase in Bro Love: 300% Increase in Externally Initiated Chest Bumps
I struggled with this one…ooooh man did I struggle with this one! It seemed like no matter how I spun it, I couldn’t break the barriers in my brain that allowed me to open my throat and just let that beer pour in. It was frustrating because I know so many people that can do it without even thinking, and I had to practice an entire week to get to the 13 second mark! Plus I spilled beer all over the floor every time. What the heck!
That was my initial reaction.
Then I started to look back on the week (and a half) I had spent actively trying to learn this skill and felt pretty friggin good. Even though my drinking ability is far a behind those of many of the people I know, I almost able to double the speed at which I propelled beer into my stomach. Which in my books is pretty friggin cool. I now have the understanding and knowledge to one day drink as fast as my man George, so now its just about figuring out how to get this done in the long term.
How to Drink Fast
Everyone you talk to will have a different tip to tell you when it comes to drinking fast, here’s the top three I got while taking part in this skill.
1. Take as large of gulps as possible, while not holding the beer in your mouth.
This is a great substitution for the classic “JUST OPEN YOUR THROAT BRO”. HOW? HOW DO I OPEN MY THROAT!?!?!? If you do this, your throat is forced to open up more than it used to if you are also in the ‘Half a Minute to Finish a Beer Club’.
2. If you can swallow air to create a burp, you can drink beer at a respectable speed.
Try it, the feeling of air going down into your throat is exactly what you want…except in delicious liquid form.
3. Learning is always taken best incrementally
Though it was fun and I did see some improvement in the day of Binge Drinking, it accomplished very little in the scope of the whole process. Where I got most of my learning and improvement from was the Drinking Fast 3x a Day Challenge. Basically you try and drink water as fast as you can three times a day, and try to improve a little bit each time. The great thing about this is that A) You can do it anywhere B) You don’t get drunk at work/school etc… (that is bad, please don’t do that) and C) you will be the most hydrated you will ever be in your entire life. Seriously, my pee looked like water during this entire process. It was crazy. If you are in a similar position as me, and want to be a quick drinker, do this.
4. Dress Up as an Australian.
I don’t know how it works…but it does.
What did I learn?
Improvement, not perfection. I learned that holding myself to incredibly high standards is not always the healthiest and most productive thing to do. You have no idea how badly I wanted to be able to crush a beer in 4.5 seconds, and I did my best that week and a half to do that. But I just couldn’t do it, and in turn beat myself up about it. But the great thing about life is that there is always room for improvement, always room to grow and really…in the big scheme of things, being able to drink fast isn’t really all that important.
Also, for you young impressionable readers out there, don’t drink beer until you’re of age or your parents tell you its okay to have one or two. If you want to drink fast, do it with Kool Aid or water or something. Being able to down a thing of Kool Aid in 4 seconds is still super cool (almost Kooler even), and won’t get you in massive trouble.
Anyways, thanks for reading and we’ll talk next week!