#19) How to Pole Dance

Posted on Posted in Athletics, Best of Season 1, Blog, Season 1

Time: I have no idea…a long time

Cost: $0-$300

Difficulty: Painfully Difficult

Sexyness Increase: Drastic

Mad Respect

If you were to have told me that you pole danced a week ago, my instant reaction would have been negativity. Thoughts such as “only strippers pole dance” and the like would have surfaced to mind without really considering any other alternative.

This mindset was totally changed last week.

Spending an evening trying to pole dance, and getting my ass absolutely handed to me was a very eye opening experience. Not only did I fail to “sexily” do any of the moves, Karly (my instructor) absolutely kicked my ass at it. And she is a total badass too!

Karly challenges  what the perceived stereotypical pole dancer is by being a wildly successful business owner and coach, a strong University student, and an individual that is constantly challenging herself.

Welcome to the Challenging Stereotypes Club Karly.

3 Moves to Get Started

I asked Karly what the three moves she thought were the best for the a beginner to get started with. Here they are.

1. The Fireman


The fireman is a classic. Whether its sliding down the fire pole on the way to save a bunch of kids, or after work at the bar celebrating from saving those kids, I’m sure many of you have seen this before. In order to do the fireman, you will need:

1. Grippy ass hands that are slidey at the same time

2. Legs that cross around the pole.

3. Momentum from walking around the pole

4. Long Flowing Blonde Hair

I know it looks easy, but its not. It took me like 20 minutes to get this thing down. That…or I’m just terrible at pole dancing.

2. The Seat


Also something that looks very simple. But, you need to make sure to stretch the begezis out of your legs first, or else you’re going to be in a lot of pain. Here’s how you do it:

1. Use your grippy ass hands to grab high up onto the pole.

2. Use your hairless left shin, and push that against the back of the pole.

3. Pull yourself up using your muscular ass shoulders, and wrap your right leg around the pole, placing it onto the knee of your other leg.

4. Laugh at the crowd of people watching you wondering how you’re levitating.


3. The Flippy Do


Some people call it a Basic Invert followed by an Outside Leg Hang, but what do those people know….Here’s how you do it.

1. Use your grippy ass hands to grab the pole.

2. Make sure you’re still grabbing on, and flip your legs backwards above your head. That was the easy part.

3. While upside down, take your right leg and wrap it around the pole until you no longer have any blood flowing to that side of your body.

4. Let go of the pole with your grippy ass hands and pray to whatever God you believe in that you stay up there and don’t pass out.

What did I learn?

First off, it taught me that I am not in nearly as good shape as I thought I was. There is nothing like trying a new unique sport to serve you up a piece of humble pie. And this humble pie causes incredible amounts of soreness and bruising. As well, it taught me that no mater how open minded and non-judgmental you think you are, there are still moments in life where it is easy to jump to an unjustified and inaccurate conclusion. Given any new situation to spend the time to create a strong understanding of said situation before jumping to wild realizations and outcomes. Pole dancing is an incredible sport, and one that I think is going to become insanely popular very soon (2020 Olympics anyone?).

Thanks for reading, and we’ll talk next week 🙂


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